(un)tangled thoughts

  As described by several others on the team, my "why" has changed a bit over the years. Although the original reason that made me join all of you on the matts is still true today.  My "why" has evolved and just become stronger, what was started as a 2 hour a week physical activity has become space and time for: -belonging and building community   -building discipline -to challenge my self and leave my comfort zone -to learn about and discover myself  -to be present -to learn self defence -to be creative -to be a role model to my boys All of these are my reasons and I could probably find even more but one phenomenon has stood out to me early on already and has been more noticeable the last couple of weeks again. My Kungfu training provides the space and the time for "emptying my mind"! I don't remark on it absolutely every time I go to my classes, but every single time I came in being stressed or anxious I finished the class without any of it. That doe...

My theme for the Year of the dragon seems to be accountability. I knew early on that having Leon join the IHC team will be great for holding myself accountable, as I wrote about in a previous blog. The decision to choose the fan as a weapon has led to the idea to attempt a partner weapon form and with that, another opportunity for even more accountability. After a timid mentioning of the idea followed by a few days of humming and hawing and questioning, if it is a smart move to attempt to work together with someone, knowing I will be physically and mentally absent for two full month, the question was, are we doing this or not. My answer was still indecisive and noncommittal, "I'll try!" The response to that came quick and was only fair, "we are either doing this or not, there is no try!" And boom thats what I needed: commit to it first, than figure it out!😁 Now, A few weeks into this year I feel super excited and certainly committed. What seemed like a scarry i...

  I finally settled on a weapon and I may have some regrets.😜 I was still humming and hawing over the choice of my weapon for this year until last week. I played with a bunch of different ideas but at the banquette I started eyeing the fan and decided this would be a good weapon to travel around with, as we will be gone to Germany for two month pretty soon. When I learned Toudai Ferris chose the fan as well, I first was taking this as a sign to choose a different weapon and leave this one for another year, but Jason made my brain go wild when he asked "why don't you guys make up a fan-form together?!" While this is an exciting idea it is also overwhelming and the fact that I won't be around for two month doesn't help. Trying to figure this all out without ever even having had a fan in my hand seemed impossible, so I ended up ordering my fan on a whim and I have been playing since. 4 things I have learned about my new weapon ! 1. Fans are loud! Fans are not just s...

Sitting here now trying to force my self to get a final post out, before the year of the rabbit is concluded is bringing up a lot of conflicting emotions. Every time I finally sit down to write a blog I have to first get past my guilt. Guilt because its been too long since the last one but also because there were countless things on my mind these last two month, some breakthroughs but also quite a few frustrations that I now wish there was a record of. But there is also the continues problem of posting my numbers. I hate starting my blog with apologies and explanations of why I did not do well but it seems a necessary step before I'm able to allow myself to acknowledge all the things I'm proud of and there are a lot to!😁 Just like probably most of us who finished their first year in the IHC, I'm super proud because this has been by far the most active year of my almost 44 years of life. While I won’t be able to give any kind of accurate numbers on my requirements, I know h...

  Well, I almost forgot what my weapon was intended for when I made it years ago. My quirl typically only gets used once a year when we make our traditional German  Klöße dish.  We call them potato balls because that's exactly what Klöße are and they are traditionally served every Sunday for lunch with a roast, lots and lots of gravy and red cabbage. My grandma 93 years old still makes them regularly alone for the whole family, while Jason and I with combined forces only manage once a year for Christmas. We had to celebrate early on Tuesday as Jason won't be home for the holidays. So I started the big chaotic process of making potato balls and it only occurred to me once I got to the last crucial part that I needed my quirl for this. My quirl has become a constant companion I carry around a lot and swing regularly, It's my weapon now and its original purpose had almost completely left my brain. So I had this moment where everything in the kitchen came to a halt because I ...

 I am sick! Hi team I have been missing both my classes and dragon dance practice this week due to being very sick. I haven't felt that bad in a very long time. Today I woke up and felt instantly a connection to this world again and I know I'm on my way back up. While my energy is returning, I still have to take lots of breaks, and I decided this particular break is being used on my blog. My brain is still fuzzy but I wanted to share how my body-mind connection blew me away once again. Over the last few weeks, I witnessed a lot of people around me getting sick including Leon and Jason. I was on my guard as I simply couldn't afford to get sick. I had Markets I was committed to attend and I am the hostess of our annual Advent calendar exchange that was also scheduled in this very busy time. In short, I made up my mind, there is no getting sick before my last market is done. Period! And so it went! I finished my last market on Sunday and woke up Monday morning thinking: oh I f...

The new Lion head requirement makes me so excited but gives me quite a bit of grief at the same time. I love the idea so much and I would normally be all over this and probably would have made a proto-type over the weekend already. I love any artsy projects and costume building/making but I have to literally restrain myself from researching and crafting. I want to assist in this project and I really hope I'll get a chance but I'm currently operating with five to six projects opened up already. My day-times are reserved for homeschooling and related projects as well as field trips, farm-, organization- and/or office work while my evenings are the production time for my felting business. I have two major markets coming up (I was surprisingly accepted to) in the pre-Christmas season plus potentially a few smaller ones, meaning every night counts. What I'm trying to say is, I'm having an awful time feeling like I will be missing out; on the team activity that ultimately cre...