(un)tangled thoughts

 Banquet day has come and gone. Sihing Burk asked me yesterday just before the doors opened and we welcomed all our families, guests and supporters, how I was doing. I'm assuming she asked me, knowing how much anxiety I tend to bring with me when it comes to being on stage or performing anything. As I was trying to figure out how to answer this, I noticed that I really didn't feel anything my nervous system interpreted as dangerous or negative. I felt good and joyful, taking in the camaraderie with the team and I was excited to watch the awards and promotions. I remember how teammates in the past had tried to reassure me that it would get easier but adrenaline and excitement will probably always be part of it. Well apperently they were right! I'm happy to say that the day itself is something I look forward to now, rather than stressing about it. I also enjoy myself throughout and spent little time thinking about the actual demo part and what could go wrong. Maybe it's ...

  And so it begins, again! It's not that I had given up on the year of the snake (so yay for no quitting!), but while I was doing my sit-ups and push-ups regularly again for the last few months, I haven't hit my minimum number anymore. I did about half of my push-ups and sit-ups lately. Why? Probably because it wasn't realistic anymore to reach my 50,000, so the "minimum" that was a year ago, 140 was no longer a relevant number. But as I reset all my trackers this morning on my Strides app, I looked at my achievements this past year and it's still pretty amazing. It's the first time I have something to really look at that represents my progress fairly accurately for the last 365 days. In previous years, I struggled way more with tracking as writing my reps on paper didn't really work for me. I restarted several times and missed many, many days of tracking. This year, while still not perfect and still missing some numbers, it's been a game-changer, ...

First of, my apologies for ditching everyone at the meeting and demo practice on thursday. Jason is home for a week and we decided to go on a quick winter family outing to Jasper. Its been three years since I strapped into my snowboard the last time and it very much felt for a moment like I had no idea what to do. It was so interesting how I went through all the stages of learning how to (basic) snowboard in that one day. At the end, I was very comfortable doing most of the green and blue runs at Marmot and enjoying myself. Nothing crazy but it was fun and felt good. In the eveing, I decided to look up some videos on how to snowboard better. I noticed all the pretty sore bits, my lower legs in particular and I figured learning a bit more may also help me be less hard on certain areas. I did watch a few instructions and was pumped to try out all of the suggestions and watch myself improve. The next morning, I went on the hill trying to apply it all, stay square to your board, hips and s...

I'm really feeling my nerves currently with the upcoming Chinese New Year and the start of the year of the horse. I have decided to attempt to grade this year, which is terrifying for so many reasons. Looking at the list of requirements and evaluating how I did in the year of the snake, I realize that while I'm still miles away from the numbers I need to achieve next year, I can see how I could be successful for the most part. I'm very aware of my patterns throughout the last 3 years, and I have been thinking of ways to prepare and how to keep more of the momentum. Not that I think it will be easy, but like Sifu Brinker says: its not easy but it's simple, you just have to do it.  The biggest problem I have and worry about is blogging. I'm not getting better at it. It's not even the blogging itself, or the writting I can come up with something every once in a while. The main issue is the insane time I require to write an entry, which is just not sustainable if I...

So, it's that time of the year. January hits, and it feels like a giant load is finally off my shoulders. While I love all the things going on in December, it's a lot, and it definitely feels like an annual marathon or more like an obstacle course I choose to enroll in every year. January to February is THE time to slow down, reflect, prepare, and renew. I find myself finally having some space to think and process, but it's also the time I have to make all the big decisions about my priorities for the upcoming 12 months. My business requires me to apply for all major events in the first couple of months each year. This has been a bit of a challenge for a few years now, partially because I like jumping into all kinds of new and exciting adventures, especially when it seems like there is limitless time to prepare. The problem is planning ahead in a way that keeps my year sustainable in all areas of my life.  In January 2026, I'm facing another major planning consideration...

Last night’s I Ho Chuan meeting was a bit of a shocker. We have have had several changes and adjustments announced in the past, but this one felt very different and even though „nothing“ changes , it genuinely surprised me. I’m using this blog to figure out how it actually affects me and how I feel about it. So please take it with a grain of salt, it’s still fresh and a little raw. I understand where our master instructors are coming from. I don’t know all the background details, but even in my few years on the team I’ve seen what they’re talking about. The levels of engagement vary a lot, and I can’t pretend I’m above that. When I first joined three years ago, it felt like a mountain to climb. The requirements terrified me, and I’ve never met them all, not even close. But every year has been a little better than the one before. It’s been uphill battle the whole way, but it is progress and for me the direction matters more than the numbers. I’ve only ever known this team as...