(un)tangled thoughts

First of, my apologies for ditching everyone at the meeting and demo practice on thursday. Jason is home for a week and we decided to go on a quick winter family outing to Jasper. Its been three years since I strapped into my snowboard the last time and it very much felt for a moment like I had no idea what to do. It was so interesting how I went through all the stages of learning how to (basic) snowboard in that one day. At the end, I was very comfortable doing most of the green and blue runs at Marmot and enjoying myself. Nothing crazy but it was fun and felt good. In the eveing, I decided to look up some videos on how to snowboard better. I noticed all the pretty sore bits, my lower legs in particular and I figured learning a bit more may also help me be less hard on certain areas. I did watch a few instructions and was pumped to try out all of the suggestions and watch myself improve. The next morning, I went on the hill trying to apply it all, stay square to your board, hips and s...

I'm really feeling my nerves currently with the upcoming Chinese New Year and the start of the year of the horse. I have decided to attempt to grade this year, which is terrifying for so many reasons. Looking at the list of requirements and evaluating how I did in the year of the snake, I realize that while I'm still miles away from the numbers I need to achieve next year, I can see how I could be successful for the most part. I'm very aware of my patterns throughout the last 3 years, and I have been thinking of ways to prepare and how to keep more of the momentum. Not that I think it will be easy, but like Sifu Brinker says: its not easy but it's simple, you just have to do it.  The biggest problem I have and worry about is blogging. I'm not getting better at it. It's not even the blogging itself, or the writting I can come up with something every once in a while. The main issue is the insane time I require to write an entry, which is just not sustainable if I...

So, it's that time of the year. January hits, and it feels like a giant load is finally off my shoulders. While I love all the things going on in December, it's a lot, and it definitely feels like an annual marathon or more like an obstacle course I choose to enroll in every year. January to February is THE time to slow down, reflect, prepare, and renew. I find myself finally having some space to think and process, but it's also the time I have to make all the big decisions about my priorities for the upcoming 12 months. My business requires me to apply for all major events in the first couple of months each year. This has been a bit of a challenge for a few years now, partially because I like jumping into all kinds of new and exciting adventures, especially when it seems like there is limitless time to prepare. The problem is planning ahead in a way that keeps my year sustainable in all areas of my life.  In January 2026, I'm facing another major planning consideration...

Last night’s I Ho Chuan meeting was a bit of a shocker. We have have had several changes and adjustments announced in the past, but this one felt very different and even though „nothing“ changes , it genuinely surprised me. I’m using this blog to figure out how it actually affects me and how I feel about it. So please take it with a grain of salt, it’s still fresh and a little raw. I understand where our master instructors are coming from. I don’t know all the background details, but even in my few years on the team I’ve seen what they’re talking about. The levels of engagement vary a lot, and I can’t pretend I’m above that. When I first joined three years ago, it felt like a mountain to climb. The requirements terrified me, and I’ve never met them all, not even close. But every year has been a little better than the one before. It’s been uphill battle the whole way, but it is progress and for me the direction matters more than the numbers. I’ve only ever known this team as...

Yesterday’s breakathon felt like a milestone for me. For the first time, I broke ten wooden boards. I was definitely worried, as I knew this meant no wiggle room in terms of difficulty level.  But I did it and it showed me in the most tangible way how much I have grown. Compared to previous years, the difference was significant, and it felt really good to finally see progress that sometimes seems invisible to me.  Before heading to class last night, I wanted to feel a bit more prepared. I decided to test one break at home even though we are usually told not to practice on wooden boards. I had been working on a four-technique combination, which I knew was way over my head but I was curious. Out of those four moves, the knife hand worried me the most and I wanted to see if I could break the board without the pressure of an audience. So I set it up with Leon, took one clean shot with my weaker left hand, and to my surprise, the board just broke. That moment had an enormous effect...

I’ve been practicing with an invisible opponent more often lately, and a few really cool things started happening.   First, when I picture someone actually in front of me, my heart rate seems to kick up a notch, almost like a mini adrenaline rush. And that in turn appears to create more snap in my strikes and I get the sense of some extra speed in my forms.   Second, I had a lightbulb moment with my distancing. In Da mu Hsing 4, I realized my ridge hand was way too close to my shoulder. Imagineing to impact an opponent’s neck forced me to reach further, and suddenly the strike made sense. Without my invisible partner, I probably wouldn’t have noticed it at all.   And third, directions! Blocking or striking while actually picturing where the attack is coming from makes me look, line up, and commit in a way I just don’t do when I’m „just“ going through the motions.   It’s funny how even „nobody“ makes a great trainings partner and mentor!