why am I here

 

As described by several others on the team, my "why" has changed a bit over the years.
Although the original reason that made me join all of you on the matts is still true today. 

My "why" has evolved and just become stronger, what was started as a 2 hour a week physical activity has become space and time for:

-belonging and building community  
-building discipline
-to challenge my self and leave my comfort zone
-to learn about and discover myself 
-to be present
-to learn self defence
-to be creative
-to be a role model to my boys

All of these are my reasons and I could probably find even more but one phenomenon has stood out to me early on already and has been more noticeable the last couple of weeks again.

My Kungfu training provides the space and the time for "emptying my mind"!

I don't remark on it absolutely every time I go to my classes, but every single time I came in being stressed or anxious I finished the class without any of it.
That doesn't mean my stressors are magically gone but it means my brain got at least a one hour break of these often draining loops I'm circling through. On those days I leave the matts with sore muscles but feeling either more energized or sometimes just more relaxed.

Preparing for my 2 month long trip has definitely caused some anxieties lately and unfortunately that has an effect on my patience sometimes.
I have recently discovered that if I just grab my fan and leave the "scene", if I go through my forms or practice some tricks it instantly calms my inner tiger that was ready to pounce. 
This has been an amazing eye opener and while I'm not saying it keeps me out of trouble all the time, I feel like this gives me a tool to take better control of myself in certain moments.
 
SU    5190
PU    5200
Weapon    228
hand    20
Sparring    30
Km    83
AOK    96

 

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