the sleeping issue

Ok, I hummed and hawed this week over whether to email Sifu or use our homework as a blog topic. The main reason I didn't want to put this out publicly is that it might come across as a bit rebellious or counterproductive, and it doesn't paint me as a"control freak" that I should strive to be. But I decided to share my point of view on sleep hygiene and circadian cycle with you after all because this is also me.

Here is the thing: I go through phases when I don't sleep well. While I don't struggle falling asleep at all (like I lie down and I'm out almost instantly), but if I get woken up anytime after 2-3 am, it often means that's it. No chance of getting any more quality sleep, it's tossing and turning until it's feasible to get up. Thankfully, I have an easy time getting up in the mornings, though.

This is my struggle and has been for many years, and it all started when I became a mom.

 

My habits and sleeping hygiene, or lack thereof is as such:

I am a night owl and always have been, and so is my dad and my 96-year-old grandma, whom I occasionally call at midnight (her time) because I know she is still up and it's sometimes a blessing with our 8-hour time difference.

I do not scroll on my phone in the evenings, not because I'm an angel, but because I have that bad habit only in my mornings when I drink my coffee. I mostly don't have a TV going in the evenings, but if I do, it's just background noise while I'm felting and doing my art (unless it's an oilers game). I always keep my phone on airplane mode at night, we do not have a TV in the bedroom, and I don't tolerate any light while sleeping. My doors are closed to keep fur babies out, and I sleep with an open window year-round, which Jason struggles with a bit.

I have not done my homework on researching sleep hygiene, not because I'd rather be ignorant or because I don't want to change habits, but because it is such a touchy subject for me. I have a tendency to overthink life, and every time I do, I seem to hinder my own improvement, and what follows is frustration. I started paying a little bit of attention to my sleep cycle when I was wearing a smart watch a while back. I never wore it for that purpose, but since the feature was there, I kept checking my sleep score. This actually started to cause true frustration and anxiety because I was trying to improve my sleep score, and my watch kept telling me every day my sleep was not sufficient, even when I felt like I got a good one. I eventually had enough and decided that I wouldn't let a smartwatch tell me how my life is going.

But my owliness about this topic goes further. When I read or hear about healthy habits, these two are often mentioned first: don't eat too late, don't drink coffee after noon or later. As a German, or let's make this even broader, as a European, I can't make sense of this, and I rebelliously say I don't care what science tells me about this, 7-8 pm is an absolute average supper time, even 9pm is often normal unless little kids are involved. Germans in particular have traditionally an afternoon "Coffee-time" which includes coffee and cake, and happens for most Germans between 3-5pm-ish. I quite literally want to run from any conversation in which somebody wants to tell me that I shouldn't eat past 5pm. I believe everyone who tells me that this works best for them, but I just reject the idea that this is true for all of us. 

Now, all that being said, I am aware of a few things that greatly impact my sleep, and I half-jokingly say that my biggest sleep killers are all my loved ones. It started with my kids, it's not their fault, of course, but nature programmes most moms to be hyper aware of their babies and sure enough, I wouldn't miss a sound, and it never stopped. My husband is number two I just say snorring, (sorry Jason) followed by my dog because if she decides to spent the night outside she often objects to the coyots singing or deers visiting. My cats are not much help when it comes to wanting to sleep either. Of course, I try to manage these things as well as I can, sometimes more successfully and sometimes less. 

Anyway, that's it, and I realize it's just venting about the problem, so sorry about that!