January: Reflect, prepare and renew

So, it's that time of the year. January hits, and it feels like a giant load is finally off my shoulders. While I love all the things going on in December, it's a lot, and it definitely feels like an annual marathon or more like an obstacle course I choose to enroll in every year.
January to February is THE time to slow down, reflect, prepare, and renew. I find myself finally having some space to think and process, but it's also the time I have to make all the big decisions about my priorities for the upcoming 12 months. My business requires me to apply for all major events in the first couple of months each year. This has been a bit of a challenge for a few years now, partially because I like jumping into all kinds of new and exciting adventures, especially when it seems like there is limitless time to prepare. The problem is planning ahead in a way that keeps my year sustainable in all areas of my life. 
In January 2026, I'm facing another major planning consideration, and it's hitting home hard right now. 
I signed up to join the team again with the intent to make it my grading year. I know it shouldn't stress me out completely, the concept of the blackbelt year is simple: just do it, just do the work!
The reality is though, that I'm not going into this with the same "simple" mindset I had when I first signed up for the team. I'm glad I joined when I did, and I learned a lot about myself, but on the other hand, it also feels daunting right now, as I know how much I have been struggling.
The most valuable insight I gained from these past three years is that I follow very distinct and predictable patterns. This insight is terrifying but also empowering when looking at my year from a planning perspective. I am forced to look at all these possibilities and opportunities and realistically consider how they would affect my training and the other things I struggle most with.
There are no conclusions yet, it's simply something I'm wrestling with currently, and I'm doing my best to appreciate the clarity that comes with having all the data that three years of trial and error gave me. At the same time, I feel real resistance to planning without my rose-colored glasses. It's the things I have to say NO to in order to say yes to the real priorities.


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