Mediocrity in disguise?!

At our last meeting, I asked about the appropriate way to record our numbers, as I have noticed that many people are stating, that their numbers are modified. I want to make sure that what I report is accurate and doesn't give a wrong picture especially since my numbers are pretty high on my 50,000 right now.

For the last few weeks, I have been thinking: Yay me! I'm doing great right now! I have been recording accurately this whole time and not only that, I have also been doing great with keeping my numbers up high to build a cushion because I know spring, summer, and fall are coming. I have been very motivated so far and didn't allow myself to take it easy because I know, as soon as I pause the momentum is broken and it will go downhill from there. Even on days that I didn't feel great, I did not make use of any of my cushion, as I still have the willpower to resist the first step of spiraling the other way. 

After the meeting on Thursday and the input I got, I had a few aha- moments, starting with, yes indeed I should clarify how many of my numbers are modified. That led to me wondering how I would do that. Do I split my numbers in "full" - vs "knee" push-ups and sit-ups vs "crunches"? 

I decided quickly that I don't like that approach and I think the reasons are legit. This is my third year on the team and for the first time, I feel like I have implemented a system that works, and seeing my numbers go up keeps me motivated. I do not want to take the risk of getting lost in details and make recording more tedious, confusing, and potentially inaccurate.  I want to keep only one number in front of me, that is climbing all the way to 50,000. That being said, I do understand why being specific is useful for understanding my own progress. In order to accommodate this,  I thought I could just describe what I'm doing and give a monthly update on an estimated percentage of full vs modified. 

For the last 6 weeks (and for the longest time before) I have been doing all my "UP'S" modified at home (my modifications are knee-push ups and crunches by the way) and as much as possible I do the full version in class, which I would report as 96% modified and 4% full version! 

 I thought that I found a good solution and I could carry on with my life and my "yay me" attitude because after all my numbers are great and my consistency is what matters most. But the brain didn't stop there, all of a sudden I found myself questioning why. Why am I doing exclusively modified UP's when not in class and nobody is watching?

Well for my sit-ups the answer is because sometime last year after a good, consistent stredge at the beginning of the year I started to struggle with constant back aches and I realized it was caused by my sit-ups. I asked for advice back then and learned about a few alternatives that I could do instead. I have been doing good with these adaptations and at the moment I think this is working. 

When it comes to my push-ups though, I couldn't think of a good reason for these modifications. I simply have become very comfortable doing them on my knees, it is relatively easy for me now. 

So of course motivated and curious I started doing my full push-ups and only allowed myself on my knees when absolutely necessary. Well, this was interesting, because since Thursday night the percentage has gone up to roughly 90% of the full version. The thing is, it depends on what routine I choose. For example, I could do them in sets of as many as I can, in one sitting, which fluctuates between 21-25, and do them 6-8 times a day. I prefer doing mine in sets of 60. I basically do 30 push-ups than 60 crunches and another set of 30 push-ups. Again there are several ways to approach this, I could do my 20+ and drop to my knees to finish them off, or I pull back take a break for a few seconds, and finish all my push-ups on my feet. Unless they are timed or have to be done in specific sets I do not have a good reason to modify them at all.  So this now dampens my "yay-me" attitude and begs the question if I have allowed mediocracy to slip in already. This is a bit mind-boggling and also confusing. 

I guess, as I keep writing about this I found the reason for the modification. It was most likely to find and build a sustainable routine. One that causes less resistance, one that gives less reasons to why I cant do them. Making the exercise itself easier for me helped me build momentum. I can imagine that this is going to be necessary again at some point when my energy level is depleted from working long hours in the yard coming spring but it really is not necessary right now. I have started working out on autopilot and sometimes that is helpful but it makes me realize how sneaky mediocrity is and how it can even be disguised as success!