Truth be told…



Yesterday morning and really for the whole last week this tiger challenge has been a huge pain in my butt.
I mean if we would have only stayed two weeks longer in Germany I didn't have to worry about it and deal with this. 
I understand how the tiger challenge functions as a tool to encourage more engagement, conveniently at a time when distractions are getting more and motivation tanks.
But knowing this, didn't prevent the thought process of: “Why am I doing this, it causes so much anxiety and discomfort.”
While I realize the benefit was there the whole time I was not able to really feel it until after everything was done yesterday.
All of a sudden when I came home with a very sore back (I have been struggling with back-aches for quite a few days now.) and tired, I found myself going through my forms again and again, several times through out the rest of the day. Just now it wasn't the pressure of, I have to practice (especially since I feel like I'm lacking after two month of no classes). It was so nice to have this effortless urge to move and just do more Kung Fu. It reminded me of when I come home from a long anticipated market, that I stressed about and did a lot of labor for. Every time I get the most motivation and am ready to tackle the next big thing, when I just finished a big event.

A few days ago as I was sitting in my garden trying to catch up with what needs to be done quickly now,  thinking about all the projects, goals and priorities and trying to find ways to up my numbers. Every centepete coming my way 30 push ups...!
I was noticing how everything was so hard to get to, everything required more convincing and thinking and just more energy over all.
I found myself longing for flow and momentum and I was thinking how my traveling for two month is certainly a blessing and huge privilege but on the other side there are costs to that and one of them is that it brings all my routines to a stand still.
I was missing my drive and motivation and wondering how and when I'll get back into a "bounce of my chair" kinda mood again.
Turns out the tiger challenge was that needed event, it got me going and it’s aftermath is what I appreciate the most!
I'm so so glad this "pain in my butt" happened to be right now at the perfect time and we didnt miss it! I feel the momentum again and how the wheels got rolling and I just want to keep moving now. 
Thank you all for your efforts yesterday and 
It’s good to be back again!


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