This is the day I write my blog and call my mother!

 

Two things, long overdue and nagging in the back of my mind!

What's fascinating to me is how long I can carry this thought over, from one day to the next, and just not get it done.

I mean a busy schedule is obviously to blame, it's easy, it's true (to a point) and it's comforting when guilt is bugging me too much.

But what's really the hang-up, well there is a lack of motivation. And how do I get myself motivated writing about my lack of numbers and accomplishments over the last close to three months?

I'm not saying there weren't any accomplishments but I did have it in my head, that my next blog needs to address my struggle to keep up with regular routines, requirements, and engagement.

Turns out it's less than exciting to formulate my thoughts on this, especially not wanting to turn this into a long excuse of why I couldn't make a few or a lot of things a priority.

So I won't. 

The last meeting felt daunting to me because now I need to add my numbers to my blog and that is an even bigger problem.

Why, because I only kept track of my numbers for the months of February and March. In April I managed for a few days, and after there have been a few attempts to backtrack because, for the longest time, I believed I had it all in my head and could fill in the blanks later. 

I was working up to write my blog (promise) but now there was a boulder dropped in front of me and now it's even harder.

But like every meeting, I always go home with a few pieces of wisdom.

This week two things Sifu Brinker said, really got stuck with me.

One was the story about bringing his students to the black belt test and how this helped him to be even more accountable. This struck me because Leon is planning to join the team for the year of the Dragon and it definitely made me think of all the examples I set for him being in the team and how they are crucial for his success! So I guess thank you for sharing Sifu Brinker and thank you for joining Leon!

The other one was how certain requirements put in front of us can feel like obstacles at first but when we change our attitude and try to roll with them we may find the benefits and discover how those are tools that will actually help.

So sitting here and starting to type makes me realize the dropped boulder is a tool not just to be more accountable but this giant obstacle actually helped me to finally seek help. So thank you Sifu Ryback for advising me and helping me see some light!

What to do when you really don't have numbers. This seems easy, just be honest about what you did. The honest answer is, I don't know what I did and therefore I can not share. I will post what I know which is unfortunately my last written down numbers in the beginning of April. I'm not trying to fill in the blanks because it would be a made-up number at this point. Instead here is an attempt to describe my progress in words. 

This summer was challenging for me to stay engaged and keep my regular requirements up. I had quite a stretch where I did little to no form repetitions and rounds of sparring and I missed a series of classes. In general, I'm happy about not giving up and a big part of that was my sit-ups and push-ups.  While I did not manage to stick to the 200 as I did in the beginning I was very good about doing a minimum of 100 most days. My kilometers come easy as I really am over and above my 4 to 5 km every day just with my chores. A of K is easy for most of us and I'm confident about my number but I realize the requirement is a lost cause because of my lack of intention to write them down and there for a lack of awareness.

As for my personal requirements, I can say a good portion has been on track, some have been achieved already and a couple showed me where I struggle and I am behind. I want to say My personal requirements have been an excellent tool to still feel connected to my commitments while sometimes being way too busy and overwhelmed and feeling disconnected from my physical requirements. I admit my list of requirements was a bit long and maybe a little too ambitious but I chose goals that I wanted to achieve regardless and I made sure there were some for each of the roles I try to fulfill.

To sum it up I feel pride in not giving up but I'm certainly embarrassed about writing these numbers, not because of the numbers themselves but because I have to finally admit that keeping track is my biggest struggle.

Going forward I hope I will find a way to manage this better and if not for myself then for the people I need to set an example for (so please, all suggestions are welcome!). 



Push-ups (8540)

sit-ups (10710)

km (265)

sparring (119)

weapon form (161)

hand form (150)AOK (170)


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