2 min no excuse

Ok, this has been the first phase this year that I really struggled to get a blog out. While it hasn't been all perfect so far, with a few delayed and some even missing, but overall I have been happy with my improvement. Considering it's been a way bigger struggle in years prior, I actually felt like I never lost control of the assignment.
Now, however, I feel it actually slipping. I think about it every day, and I feel the guilt and annoyance with myself when, at the end of the day, I didn't get it done again. The downward spiral has started to take momentum. Because I'm behind, I want to come up with a good post and not just an apologetic note stating the obvious and non-solution-based. The pressure to deliver something better makes me delay even more, and trying to think of something meaningful to say makes my brain shut down, or I can hear the critical part of my brain jab at every thought that crosses my mind: Sure, but what's your point? What are you actually trying to get at?
And I respond by being deflated and admitting, right, I don't actually know. So that's not it; something else will surely come after the next class, next training session, or after the next coffee.
But it didn't.
I think it's time to embrace journaling again and stop focusing and stressing about delivering. I think I sometimes get lost between the thought of having to produce content versus reflecting on my journey.

Ok that wasnt actually 2 minutes but that also wasnt the point.

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