(un)tangled thoughts

With the banquet fast approaching I have been excessively working on my demo to the point of exhaustion and heightened risk of injury. There is a specific move I have been trying to perfect at the beginning of our form. Just after I throw a punch I cross-step and go down into a crossed kneeing-squatting type position to avoid my partner's crescent kick. I then unwind by throwing a spinning back-kick. I have struggled with this section all year. For the longest time, I thought it was just a matter of building the muscles, and repetition will eventually allow me to smoothly untwist from this kneeling position, throw a powerful back-kick, and recover into the perfect stance for my next move. I have worked extremely hard but realized I have not mastered that part yet. I reached a point where my knees and my quad muscles are complaining and not in a good way. This added to my frustration because now I felt like I could not practice the very thing I was most nervous about. I decided to t...

With a little less than 2 weeks left before the banquet, I'm devoting a lot of my time to my fan form. So far there were always specific spots needing adjustment, either because it didn't feel right or some moves I stumbled over more often than not, other times because the stage was just not big enough or I saw issues on a video I had to address. It was easier to feel accomplished in my training because even if I didn't fix the problem completely right away, slight adjustments felt good and proved progress.  Now, I entered a strange quiet phase before the storm. I work on my form more than ever but progress is now harder to see. Over the last few days I came to accept and realize that this phase is for internal work more than the physical and I'm obviously not alone with that. My trainings partner has mentioned a few times now the switching of her mindset to just having fun and letting go which encouraged me to stop and think about how much I love this form we have crea...

I had an incredible opportunity this year to train with a partner and work on a double fan form. I thought I'd share why this was such a great experience and why I'm a little sad and scared to go into the next year. The most obvious advantage of course was having the accountability partner! I know as a team we are all serving that purpose to a point but there is no substitute for somebody that literaly relies on your performance. That means for me not only that I have to show up and that I practice my form, but it also meant trying to deal with what I consinder severe anxiety or stage fright. This became evident at one of our spontanious demos at our potato bake in August. We were set to show of our form, we had managed to demonstrate a few times already, maybe not perfect but not bad at all. This time however the demo was happening outdoors and the wind was a real issue. We recognized that we won't be able to do our normal routine and decided in the last fife minutes to ch...